The Paradigm of Life

Like a match stick, life begins when one ignites it. The flame symbolises one’s life. It depends on what you want to use it for. You can either use the flame to bring light and warm into darkness, brighten up your life and those of others or use it to burn down forests and houses; and bring harm to others. The purpose of life, therefore, depends on what you want to do with your one precious life.

Life is not just about being successful or rich. The word “LIFE” stands for Living It Fully, Everyday. It is a journey that continues even after death as the legacy that you leave behind may impact current generation and live through many subsequent generations. You can find meaning in life, if you want and choose to. The mental map or the paradigm that you hold influences your thinking and affects the path that you take to find meaning in life. Life can be meaningful and complete if you are willing to change your paradigm and see things from other people’s paradigm.  Immanuel Kant, a philosopher, once wrote “We see things not as they are, but as we are”.

Dr. Covey defines paradigm as a perception, assumption, theory, frame of mind or lens through which we view the world. He believes that if you want to make minor, incremental changes and improvements in your life, work on practices, behaviours or attitude. But if you want to make significant, quantum improvement in your life, you need to work on your paradigm.  

We do not live all by ourselves. We live in an interdependent world. Our actions and decisions affect others. We should always take action and decision based on a complete paradigm of the situation. There is no absolute right or wrong. In every right, there are some wrongs and in every wrong, there are some rights. It all boils down to the paradigm that we hold.

There is a story about a preacher who was very disappointed when he saw a man slept through his teaching. He told himself that he is going to reprimand the man after the session for showing disrespect to him and the audience. At the end of the teaching, he stood up and walked towards the man. Before he would reach the man, the man’s wife came forward to him and apologised on behalf of his husband. She said. “Sir, my husband has contracted cancer and he is in a terminal stage. The doctor has given him a month to live. He doesn’t want to waste his last days resting at home. He insisted of coming here to listen to your teaching. Unfortunately, he was too sick to concentrate on your teaching and I am sorry for that.”  The preacher was stumped and he felt ashamed of himself. He realised how shallow and petty he was. We tend to see the world as we are rather than it is.  We are more likely to make a better decision and take better action if we seek to embrace the complete paradigm of the situation. 

The 5Cs of Positive Attitude

Paradigm is the mental map or mindset that is inherently ingrained into everything that one does. The values and beliefs that one holds affect one's intention or action. To cultivate positive attitude, one should practise self-awareness and take charge of what goes inside one’s mind by monitoring and managing the internal dialogue and turning negative thoughts into positive ones. All human beings are endowed with the ability to choose positive thoughts at the subconscious state. This ability allows us to make prediction of the outcomes and help us to avoid negative consequences that would bring harm to those who come into contact with us. Thus, it would prevent us from suffering in guilt and pain.

Researches have shown that individuals with positive attitudes are more successful than similarly talented people with negative attitudes. Each of us has the ability to choose what attitude we want and the good thing is that positive attitude can be cultivated, if the right 5Cs are followed.

Choice versus circumstance. All human beings are given the power and freedom to choose our attitudes. The attitude that we demonstrate towards others is a function of our choices, not our circumstances. Positive attitude individuals will always make choices and respond positively towards unreasonable people or challenging situations. In contrast, negative attitude individuals are driven by their feelings, moods, circumstances, conditions and social environment. They will blame the circumstances for their failures but not their inability to exercise the freedom of choice.

Compassion versus condition. Compassion is the feeling for the sufferings of others and prompting one to give help. It embraces the virtue of kindness, courtesy and forgiveness. The English idiom “To err is human, to forgive divine" illustrates the power of compassion. We all make mistakes. We need to forgive ourselves and others so that we can move on and get on with lives. There is no point to dwell on own or other people’s mistakes and setting conditions for them to repent or change. The “conditions apply’ mindset produces disappointment, anxiety and disillusion. Mary Robinson Reynolds, author of “Attitude Alignment: The Art of Getting What You Want”, illustrated in her book that a compassionate response to difficult people and situations yields a positive reaction 70% of the time. Whereas, responding with resentment or anger produces a negative reaction 100% of the time.

Compliment versus complaint. Cultivating and expressing gratitude by giving compliments to others can lift one’s spirit. Giving compliments help people to stay positive and be appreciative of the things and people around them. On the other hand, giving complaints or unconstructive criticism can ruin one’s spirit. In reality, only a small percentage of things will fail or go wrong. Focus on the positive side of things and people around us and be generous in giving compliments.

Cooperation versus competition. Cooperation is an attitude of the mind and heart that is based on the paradigm of abundance. It works on the premise that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. No man is an island. We all live and work in an interdependent world where cooperation can bring about better ideas and solutions. Cooperation brings positive energies to people working together and those around them. On the other hand, competition can erodes team’s synergy and cohesiveness. If the attitude of cooperation is lacking or low, it can result in low trust, backbiting, in-fighting, protective communication and office politics.

Contentment versus comparison. Contentment is the attitude of being happy with who you are and what you have. Focus on one’s strengths rather than one’s weaknesses. Identify opportunities and always seek way to maximum your strengths so that you can better contribute to the organisation, family and community. On the other hand, comparison encourages envy, which can threaten a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence.

Positive Thinking Makes One Happier

Thinking positively can make one happier. Researchers have discovered that children as young as 5  would feel better after thinking positive thoughts than they would after thinking negative thoughts. They also found significant development in the children's understanding about the emotion-feeling link as they grew older. Cultivating positive thinking can prepare them to strive for their career goals; improve their social skills; and avoid stress-related health issues. Mr. Johnson Ong Chee Bin was invited to give a talk on "The Law Attraction" at the National University of Singapore, Office of Estate and Development. The talk encompasses the following topics:

• The Law of Attraction 

• E=MC2 vs. Ancient Chinese Metaphysics 

• The Mind 

• Power of Thoughts 

• Techniques for Positive Thoughts, Positive Outcomes